Yeh Yeh's House

When do you find yourself resisting the text? What does your resistance say about you or the text? 

I have started reading Yeh Yeh's House by Evelina Chao. It is a memoir about Evelina's trip to China with her mother and about how this trip leads to Evelina's discovery and understanding of herself and her mother. Evelina's trip takes place at the time of the Cultural Revolution in China. She decides to visit China because of her grandfather (in Chinese, "Yeh Yeh" means grandfather), however, it is not because she wants to visit her grandfather in a happy family reunion, but rather the opposite, for her grandfather is dead. And even though I have not reached the part of the book yet, in the front flap of the book, it says that her grandfather did not die of old age, but instead, he had committed suicide (Even though I did not read this part in the book yet, I wanted to include this piece of information in my blog, for it is needed to show why I resisted the text). Her grandfather had committed suicide after many futile pleas through letters to Evelina, pleading with her for her to visit him. But it was too much for him (the Cultural Revolution), and perhaps, he saw no other way of escape, and no reason to live on.

I deeply resisted the text when Evelina canceled her original plans for a trip to China (her original trip was planned before her grandfather's death) merely because she had to practice in her String Quartet. When the text said: "In the spring, when I tell my String Quartet I mean to go to China, their eyes pin me to the wall. 'What about London?' they shrill, reminding me of our plans to study with the Amadeus Quartet. 'Where's your commitment?'... I call my  mother to tell her I won't be going to China with her this time." I felt disbelief and intense anger. How could Evelina care about her career more than her family despite knowing how desperate her grandfather was for her to visit him? 

I think I resisted the text so much because it felt both foreign and familiar (and I do not think Evelina purposefully tried to make me, or any reader, feel resistance at all). I never had the chance to know my grandfather for he died long before I was born. However, I had the chance to "know him" in a way, as my father would tell me all about my grandfather. And if he was alive, I know I would have liked him a lot. But no matter how much information I know about him, it will never be the same as knowing him in person. My grandfather's love is something I will never have. Knowing him is farther than foreign, it is impossible. But the text was familiar because it was foreign. It made me think about how much I would appreciate having my grandfather. And while Evelina has her grandfather, she's still taking him for granted, thinking that he will always be there. Does she think his pleas are meaningless? Did her grandfather have to commit suicide for her to realize how crushed and desperate he was? Does one have to experience loss to realize nothing should be taken for granted? 

My resistance either says that Evelina is selfish , or simply doesn't know to how appreciate what she has before it's gone. Or it may say that I am naive. I do not think that it is the first one, for she still seems to love her grandfather a lot. However, I can't decide if it is the second or third one, perhaps it is both. She doesn't realize how much pain her grandfather is in, she doesn't understand his desperation. Evelina assumes her grandfather will be able to get through the Cultural Revolution with no problems, but obviously, she is very wrong. It may say that I'm naive because I shouldn't judge how important Evelina's career is to her. Even if I think family will forever be higher on the list of my priorities, it may not be the same for her. Maybe it is because she doesn't understand loss, that she takes her loved ones for granted. I do not have a career yet, so I will not understand the importance of employment. But I'm sure that even when I do, I will still  put my family first.