Snow Flower and the Secret Fan 4 *spoiler alert*

When Her Life Ends, The Hatred Does Too


I am almost at the end of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. Much has happened, and after a great misunderstanding between the two laotong, Lily openly humiliates Snow Flower and vows to never see her again. Her hatred for Snow Flower (as she believes Snow Flower betrayed her in the promise of being a faithful laotong) stays with her for many years until one day she is informed by Snow Flower's daughter that her laotong is gravely ill and will not live for much longer. Despite being deeply humiliated by Lily, Snow Flower still calls for her. Lily hurries to Snow Flower, and upon seeing her deathly pale laotong nearing death, her past hatred and grudges  wash away. She comforts Snow Flower, who is in great pain, and realizes (after finding a doctor to look at Snow Flower) that Snow Flower cannot be saved. 

It's tragic that only when it's nearly too late does Lily realize that she should not have hurt or despised her laotong for so many years. Only when she sees Snow Flower in such pain does she discover her love for her laotong again. Is this the ultimate consequence of hatred? That we end up regretting being so cruel to someone we should not have hated after all, but at the same time realize it is already much too late for apologies? Do we only regret our actions after it is much too late? 

It seems as though death and the lack of time left with Snow Flower for Lily was the final solution that ended the hatred she had for her, as unfair as this may seem. But perhaps it is in a way fair, because if nothing reminded us that many people in our lives should be treasured, despite possible disagreements and misunderstandings, what would keep us from being ignorant fools who never realize our mistakes? It is a pity though, that this reminder comes so late, as by the time we learn from our mistakes, we are often too late.

I think that although Snow Flower's fate is tragic, it may be for the best, for isn't it better for the laotongs to love each other again despite the brief time they have left together rather than for them to live long yet stay in a bitter relationship for the rest of their lives? Perhaps this is the price one must pay for love and friendship: the price of time. But is it worth it? I'm not sure. I believe that as long as one's life is meaningful, then its brevity is irrelevant and unimportant, but just how short is too short when it comes to life? How important is friendship in contrast to life? But then again, what is life without friendship? Perhaps the opinion of whether or not time is worth sacrificing for friendship is truly a matter of personal beliefs, and it is a question that cannot be answered simply or generally.

What may have seemed tragic may actually have been meaningful if we take the time to look again.